Daddy wasn't there
by Dreamer16
Summary: A wee bit of swearing


_Disclaimer: Dudes, Ming Tea own 'Daddy Wasn't There' And that dude owns Invader Zim you all know his name._

Dib-17  
  
Gaz-15  
  
Zim-?(Older than any living human?)

* * *

Albeit the hybrid of nonchalant students partaking...  
  
The headmaster of the Hi Skool, Mr Sim, stood on the stage clutching a microphone in his hand and a dog eared list in his other. Mr Sim was a tall, skinny, middle aged man who was disliked big crowds, boys with long hair and loud music; so it was a big irony on his part that he was chosen to host the Hi Skool's Rock Music Festival.  
  
'Hello and welcome to the first quadrant of 2004's Battle of the Bands,' Mr Sim said, his voice electronically magnified though the school's hall. 'After cancelling early last year as a over excitable band were too ... ardent,' Mr Sim allowed himself a smirk as he remembered a boy who tried to crowd surf by jumping off the stage but had landed on the hard floor of reality and been trampled by the feet of tough luck, 'and the other bands were shi- really quite terrible. The staff and I have decided, out of the kindness of our hearts, to hold yet another festival.' The students roared with approval. 'So ... I give you the first band 'The Tambourines'!' The students stopped roaring with approval and looked at each other in confusion, some looked outraged.  
  
'Is this not a rock concert...' whispered a girl to her best friend.  
  
'I thought it was too, I guess the teachers are only letting safe bands on the stage.'  
  
The students sat down, and began to wait for 'The Tambourines' to come out on stage. They would have left, but they paid 2 pounds and didn't want to waste it, the cheap bastereds.  
  
Sponge Bob eventually walked on to the stage, accompanied by that starfish and that walking octopus thing.   
  
'HELLO!' shouted Sponge Bob, in to the microphone.  
  
'You suck!' shouted a random guy from the audience. There was a murmur of agreement.  
  
'Now, now we have a FUN song for you today! Hehehe!' giggled Sponge.  
  
'Duh, lets uh get in with it,' said the star fish, thickly.  
  
'YEAH!'  
  
Sponge & Co. began to clap their hands, bang their tambourines and began to sing a lame song.  
  
'When I was a little sponge, my mammy said to me... Your a stupid wee sponge,' sang Sponge Bob in a uneven voice.  
  
'OH GOD MAKE IT STOP!' whined the guy from the audience.  
  
'Uh, when I was just a wee starrrrrrrrrrrrr-' screamed the star fish, his out of tune voice gradually becoming quieter, before being cut off.  
  
Mr Sim, hearing how crap the band where had activated a trap door under the stage, which lead to somewhere in South Pole.  
  
'Phew!' sighed the audience, as one person.  
  
'Sorry about that appalling performance,' said Mr Sim, walking back on to the stage after making sure the trapdoor was properly locked. 'OK now we have ...' Mr Sim scanned the bit of paper in his hands, 'er ... 'The Ginger Biscuits''  
  
The audience began to clap uncertainly, as Ginger from 'As Told by Ginger' walks out on to the stage, followed by her 2 friends and that boy with the braces. [I don't know their names]  
  
The boy took out his drum kit from off stage and began to set it up. Ginger and her friends begin trying to get their guitars tuned. Twenty minutes later when the girls had set up their equipment, they begin playing but very badly. Only the boy on drums can play, but accompanied by Ginger, and her friends singing and guitar playing, they sucked.  
  
'Some one oncccee t-ttolld mmee thee grrass was mucchh greener,' stuttered Ginger, nerves had got the best of her, 'oonnnnn the other siiddeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-' Ginger's singing was cut off by the trap doors closing.  
  
'BBBOOOO!' shouted the audience.  
  
'Right students,' groaned Mr Sim. 'I know the band was less than adequate, but booing is unnecessary ... Anyway the next band is from this every school. Yes, two social rejects and a deranged madam ...'  
  
'What the f---?' whispered the girl, to her friend.  
  
'I dunno,' her friend whispered back  
  
'And I never knew there was a band from this school.'  
  
'Well there is,' answered her friend.  
  
'The ...' said Mr Sim uncertainly, trying to read the band name. The word 'Irkens' had been written but 'Humans' had written over that. Mr Sim could make a word from the scribbles. 'Without further ado I introduce the... 'Humkens'!'  
  
The crowd of teenagers began to half-heartedly clap their hands but stopped abruptly when the first band member came out onto the stage.  
  
It was Dib. He had walked out onto the stage carrying his blue electric guitar. He plugged in and tuned the guitar within minutes. The crowd eyed Dib suspiciously, Gretchen started to drool. He was wearing a diamond crusted cross around his neck, baggy jeans and his favourite T-shirt with the bored looking face. He stared at the crowd and hundreds of little eyes stared back. The crowd were trying to psyche him out but they had no effect on him. He had taken up lecturing Advanced Physics to university students and was the stand-in presenter for Mysterious Mysteries, so the large audience didn't bother him the least.  
  
Then Gaz walked out, looking normal but slightly awkward. She was wearing her skull necklace and her everyday day dress. She had an extra layer of black eye liner on and that was as glamorous as she was getting she had informed Dib. She now began to wish she had tried to look more "glam", as the critical gaze of the audience was a disappointed one. She sat behind her violet drum kit, which her human pet had set up for her.   
  
'Thanks Adam,' she muttered. She tried to pretend the crowd wasn't there by squinting her eyes up a bit more.  
  
Then Zim strutted out last, holding his red electric guitar. He, like Dib, had no troubles setting up his guitar. The students just goggled at Zim, he looked different. They then all decided it must be his new hair style and completely bloodshot eyes. Zim shrugged and strolled over to his microphone his black baggy trousers trailing on the floor. The Irken Face logo on Zim's T-shirt grinned at the crowd's shell-shocked stares. The white shirt he had on underneath his grinning T-shirt stopped at mid arm and gave way to black gloves. Large audiences had never made Zim nervous and this one certainly didn't. In fact Zim loved to be the centre of attention. The tallests knew this only too well when Zim had purposely, many times, stole the attention of their Irken Empire.   
  
The crowd just stared, crickets could be heard, Dib and Zim weren't supposed to be in a band. Zim's T-shirt still grinned at the crowd all the while.  
  
Zim gave Dib a concerned sidelong glace, it said something along the lines of "are they not supposed to be more lively?"  
  
Dib gave Zim a look as if to say, "Oh well" and leaned towards the mircophone.  
  
'This song is ... for my dad.'  
  
Dib and Zim began to play their guitars pretty well. Gaz had just started to play the drums when Dib began to sing, 'Dad-dy... Daddy wasn't there.  
  
'Dad-dy...' sang Dib again. Then with Gaz in backing vocals, he sang, 'Daddy wasn't there, to take me to the fair.'  
  
'It seems he doesn't caaaarrrrrrrre,' hissed Zim, over the music.   
  
'Daddy wasn't there!' shouted Gaz, in her singing voice.  
  
GIR ran onto the stage with a golden object. The little robot had a trumpet, Gaz noticed with horror, but Zim kicked Gir into the audience before Gir had a chance to play.  
  
'Dad-dy,' sang Dib. 'Daddy wasn't there, to change my underwear.'  
  
'It seems he doesn't caaaarrrrrrrre!' shouted Zim, still in tune and starting a mosh pit.  
  
'Daddy wasn't there,' sang Dib, calmly despite Zim. He took a quick breath, that sounded like a gasp and sang very fast: 'When I was first baptised. When I was criticised. When I was ostracised. When I was Jazzercised. Steak and kidney pies. When I was modernised. When I was cir-cum-cised... Daddy wasn't there.'  
  
Zim played some mean guitar and Gaz had a drum solo accompanied by a trumpet from the crowd. The students where beside themselves, they where going mental, a few folk even managed to crowd surf like rag dolls.  
  
Dib taking another quick breath, sang, 'When I was first baptised. When I was criticised. When I was ostracised. When I was Jazzercised. Steak and kidney pies. When I was modernised. When I was cir-cum-cised.'  
  
'Daddy wasn't there... to take me to the fair!' screamed Gaz, the crowds where going mental.  
  
'To change my underwear,' sang Dib.  
  
'Daddy wasn't there!' shouted Zim, not over the music, but over the cheering students.  
  
'Daddy wasn't there, peace!' shouted Dib, giving the peace sign to the audience. The pupils went crazy, most gave Dib the peace sign but some made the devil sign.  
  
There was a pause and the crowd thought for a fearful second it was all over.  
  
Zim, who'd been careful to lean over the drums, shouted into Gaz's microphone: 'If you got a Daddy issue, here's a Daddy tissue!' all in perfect chord.   
  
Zim and Gaz then shared the microphone and they shouted, together, 'D to the A to the D D Y!' I dunno why bands do this, but two people normally end up sharing a microphone at one point.  
  
'D to the A to the D D Y!' screamed Gaz.  
  
'Say it just fad but I've got a deadbeat dad,' sang Dib, very calmly compared to Zim and Gaz.  
  
'D to the A to the D D Y!' shouted Gaz and Zim, it was amazing they managed to be in tune.  
  
'D to the A to the D D Y!' growled Zim, into Gaz's microphone.  
  
'I sit in my room and cry and I ask myself the reason why?' sang Dib nicely, but he looked a bit scared of Gaz and Zim.  
  
'D to the A to the D D Y!' shouted Gaz and Zim.  
  
'D to the A to the D D Y,' they both chorused again, but it wasn't shouted.  
  
'Daddy... Daddy... Daddy,' sang Dib.  
  
'D A D D Y... peace!' shouted Dib, giving everyone the peace sing, again.  
  
'YYYYYYAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!' screamed the crowds.  
  
'Woooooooooooooh!' squealed Gir, he was crowd surfing and waved at Zim. The robot then started to play his trumpet perfectly.  
  
Dib, Zim and Gaz took a collective bow. Bras and knickers were getting landing at Zim and Dib's feet. Some boxers landed on the stage for Gaz... or at least I hope they were for Gaz.  
  
'DIB! DIB!' screamed a girl, over the cheering crowd, trying to rip her blouse open. 'SIGN MY CHEST!'  
  
Dib just gave her the thumbs up sign and strode off the stage. Gaz followed him off the stage, her human pet licking at her heels.   
  
'ZIM! ZIM! BEST BUD!' screamed Keef from the audience, trying to rip his shirt off. 'SIGN MY BREASTS!'  
  
Zim just gave Keef a disgusted look and stalked off the stage after Gaz.  
  
'RIGHT! CALM DOWN!' shouted Mr Sim. 'SHUT UP!'  
  
It was no use the crowds were beyond insanity.   
  
'Oh fine...' sighed Mr Sim. ''The Humkens' win.'


End file.
